after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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