I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
