I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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