eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
