I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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