I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
