bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
