I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
