Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
