Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
