I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
