it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
