now i know why i became what i already was.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize