apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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