lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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