i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize