i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
NoShamevember. You game?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
this is an emotional support booty call
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
