Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
