the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
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His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
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Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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