shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
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That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.