i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session