the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked