Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
