me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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