whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
