so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
