Can Purell be used as lube?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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