Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
