If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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