things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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