If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
