if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
cat food counts as protein by the way
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Is Oprah even human
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
