There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
