Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
