Tell her she can't have a vagina
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
