Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
