It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
