girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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