Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have aggressive nipples.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
