u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
