marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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