i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
ok first of all what the fuck
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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