I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
