What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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