She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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