somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
