it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I need to stop coming to work sober
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
jump out the window naked night went bad
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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