Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
