If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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