the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
