Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning

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(586): i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning http://tfl.nu/zcz6

Replies (33) Good night (3011) Bad night (699)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.

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(215): At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware. http://tfl.nu/07cm

Replies (33) Good night (2913) Bad night (736)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.

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(770): I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night. http://tfl.nu/6yac

Replies (15) Good night (3953) Bad night (795)
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(330): View more from Ohio

She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.

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(330): She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that. http://tfl.nu/ix7p

Replies (15) Good night (3910) Bad night (1752)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.

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(617): Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy. http://tfl.nu/ysza

Replies (30) Good night (3978) Bad night (2151)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat

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(978): Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat http://tfl.nu/7lwm

Replies (18) Good night (4335) Bad night (778)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.

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(978): She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent. http://tfl.nu/hcxv

Replies (8) Good night (4014) Bad night (890)
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(512): View more from Texas

studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing

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(512): studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing http://tfl.nu/zch9

Replies (12) Good night (1530) Bad night (656)
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(574): View more from Indiana

We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.

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(574): We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head. http://tfl.nu/s37i

Replies (14) Good night (1747) Bad night (445)
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(907): View more from Alaska

You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.

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(907): You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug. http://tfl.nu/t259

Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (507)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.

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(919): They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am. http://tfl.nu/0bdo

Replies (0) Good night (440) Bad night (225)
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(561): View more from Florida

I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.

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(561): I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics. http://tfl.nu/2iwb

Replies (4) Good night (469) Bad night (267)
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(269): View more from Michigan

CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO

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(269): CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO http://tfl.nu/xwnd

Replies (1) Good night (673) Bad night (191)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.

(614): View more from Ohio

I'm Batman.

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(614): I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls. (614): I'm Batman. http://tfl.nu/j50i

Replies (3) Good night (397) Bad night (373)
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(407): View more from Florida

The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.

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(407): The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor. http://tfl.nu/fcy8

Replies (1) Good night (794) Bad night (145)

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