I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did