She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing