she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.