Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
two words...techno handjob
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Floor bacon is actually really good
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.