honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
