Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
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Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
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But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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