piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
