Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
