I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
