So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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