Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
