I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
