wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
