OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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