eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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