there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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