carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
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I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
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Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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