we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
